Post by rickthetrapper on Sept 18, 2010 23:11:36 GMT -5
Farmer got in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'
The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull & $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
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Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'
Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking
the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm going to explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster.
'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.
He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head, and heard.....his wife….sayin',
"BOB, wake up! You Pooped in the bed!"
Moral of the story...don't dream you're a chicken
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'
The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull & $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'
Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking
the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm going to explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster.
'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.
He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head, and heard.....his wife….sayin',
"BOB, wake up! You Pooped in the bed!"
Moral of the story...don't dream you're a chicken